i should nOT BE tuRNED ON BY THAT 

(Source: pterrodactyl, via mystateofmindhasgothebestofme)

541,856 notes


Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk

(via introverts-unite-xoxo)

119,699 notes


i’ve never met nicki minaj but i trust her

(via nymeriaofessos)

81,819 notes


that guy you just called sexist? he’s the CEO of a major corporation. that guy you just called racist? he’s a cop. wait hang on I’m seeing something here

(Source: futurefantastic, via sloshes)

160,524 notes
the my essay (due tomorrow)

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

242,223 notes
  • iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
  • Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
  • iPhone user: I just like this pho-
  • Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*
64,171 notes


perks of dating me: u will be the hot one

(via sloshes)

283,385 notes


i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about

(via slimshadyamy)

142,044 notes